Group difficulty

2021.10.18 19:19 BeautifulPlenty Group difficulty

So I have been playing my first dnd campaign and my fiancée has been playing for a couple of years but this is her first time DMing. I did a practice run with her just me and her so she could get some dm practice in before starting with the group and instantly TPKd in the first encounter. Whoops. Fast forward to when the campaign starts my character is supposed to be this lovely clueless teddy bear of a man and she role plays every npc hyper aggressive to me right off the bat. The dialog traits of the character is basically faking it. Like he doesn't know what anyone is talking about pretends to understand adds some sort of context that is slightly disconnected from the conversation and mirrors everyone's energy. The other people in my group get it and my dm and I have even sat down and gone over it twice now. But no matter what I say or do she comes at me hostile out of the gate; so I would mirror the hostile energy... but now it is every character she plays does it to me and it isn't fun for me so I just make him meek and goofy so I don't have to get into an argument every single time I try to talk to someone.
Example we did this big quest involving pirates and smugglers and I took prisoners and freed their captive for a reward of a hammock. That's what my character wanted. A hammock. But the people being turned in where outside of the terms of the contract so my character asked for something more for freeing the prisoner and capturing pirates and the character she is playing instantly snaps at me that what I'm talking about is slavery and an act of piracy will not be tolerated and you are getting nothing we are taking them and if you mention it again I'm throwing you in jail.
We had to do an out of game talk about it but she made me feel like I was in the wrong and I should have just kept my hammock and shut up. (3 sessions later she destroyed my hammock anyway)
Fast forward to last night's session and we get random encountered by 3 quicklings at night. In volo's they are CR 1 but if you do the math they are more like CR 3 so for our party of 5 level 3s this is a very deadly encounter. We are getting wrecked. She targets the casters and takes them down in 2 turns. She is running them 60ft in, dealing insane damage then running them 60ft back into the woods so we can't see them. The carriage runs away with our barbarian attached we are getting shot at by arrows from the opposite direction. Downs the only character with dark vision. We as the party are clearly not having fun during this. All we can do it take single opportunity attacks with disadvantage after taking 1d4+6 damage 3 times with a +8 to hit over and over again. And I say this is not a balanced encounter we can't possibly win this. She insisted that it was and in her defense the book says they are CR1 and it should have fallen into the very hard range. But this is not fun and quite a bit beyond very hard.
So she tells us you can run away if you don't think you can win. She lets us flee; which was nice of her because they have 120ft movement, if she didn't let us flee it would have just been tpk. So we got to live because I was so openly vocal about how broken this fight.
So I do some homework on quicklings and turns out they are a little miss labeled on thier CR. I share my findings with her and she goes well shoot, at least you didn't die. I tell her I don't blame her they are clearly labeled cr 1 in the book. And she turns it on me; saying that I was wrong for speaking the way I did about the encounter being unbalanced and we are not supposed to win every battle and it wasn't her fault
I don't know; I feel like I'm a little too close to this one and I'm looking for advice here. She obviously doesn't hate me, we are engaged. I don't know what else to do other than just let her kill everyone and call it a day. But I really like playing and I like spending the time with her and her hobby. But I don't want to be the bad guy constantly. Really at a loss. We really only have these kinda quarrels about dnd and that's what I find so shocking. Am I out of line?
If you made it through this whole rant I appreciate you.
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